The Overnight Underground News Podcast.

Unless you’ve been living in a hole, and well, it’s actually something we here at the Overnight Underground would highly recommend at this point in history, you undoubtedly witnessed either first hand or on the flat screen, the mayhem and lawlessness currently plaguing the streets of America. So maybe you’re asking yourself, just how wide spread is it? Well, Yahoo News reports that the protests by day and riots by night have spread to one hundred and forty cities in the US. But don’t go thinking that this is just an American problem, the unrest is now spreading, like a plague to other western democracies. 

Mayhem Spreads

On Sunday night rioting and looting spread to our neighbors in the north. Montreal witnessed peaceful protesters turned criminals as businesses were looted and police responded with tear gas. According to the Montreal Gazette, eleven were arrested in last night’s melee. Meanwhile in England, This morning a large crowd flying an Antifa flag was chanting ‘fuck the police’ outside Downing Street. (downing) Kind of fun to hear “fuck the police” with a british accent. In New Zealand, an estimated two thousand protesters surrounded the US Consulate in Auckland. So, yea, this is no longer just an American problem. I’m so glad we could get our exports going again. 

Trump calls Governors wimps

The politics surrounding this wanton destruction of businesses and property is sometimes amusing and as usual accomplishes little and appears to only fan the flames of more disorder. The Republicans blame Antifa and the Democrats blame white supremacists and each other and the cities burn. The President had a phone call with nation’s Governors Monday morning and the great orange one called out many of the Governors for being, well, pussies. Trump spent part of last night dominating the secret bunker in the basement of the White House. 

Amnesty calls US Po Po bad

And here’s a funny story, Amnesty International is calling for an end of militarized police response to the protests. Axios notes the group has issued a statement calling for an end to militarized policing in U.S. cities and the use of  what they call “excessive force” against demonstrators. Look, I agree with you on this, militarized police is an issue and a really, really bad idea. But damn, cities are burning, private property is being looted and destroyed and the approach of “we feel your pain now go home cause mom and dad love you and have stocked your basement with fresh Doritos” just doesn’t appear to be working. Right now it seems like the plan is to let the rioters loot until there’s nothing left to loot, and then they’ll just give up. Not a very cunning plan. 

Air Force Base Shooting

And just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, comes news of a shooting at the Grand Forks Air Force Base. Newsweek reports two are dead following the shooting at the dorms. The incident is still under investigation. It’s good to know that during these troubled  times, it’s comforting to have something American’s are familiar with,  like a mass shooting.

Mouthwash could kill you

Here’s something random and completely unrelated. Using mouthwash after exercising can cause death. The website Science Alert points to a study that using mouthwash after working out can lead to the reduction of  one of the main benefits of exercise: lowering your blood pressure. It all has something to do with the mouthwash killing bacteria ‘key’  opening up blood vessels, hence the hastening of inevitable death. It’s all too damn much science for me after a weekend of looting and rioting, but go ahead and read it if you like, the link of course is available at overnight underground dot com. And yes, welcome to the beautiful planet where everything is out to kill you. 

Say something nice day today

Hey did you know today is National Say Something Nice Day? (good luck) Maybe we could try some phrases like: “That’s a lovely black block outfit you have on” or “Thank you for sharing your lootie loot with me.” So, come out of your lockdown, and go get your free stuff from your friendly neighborhood get and split, and for god’s sakes, say something nice. 

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The Overnight Underground News Podcast, here’s today’s headlines: 

How to tell the difference between rioting and protesting. The spread of unrest unsettles a nation. Trump and Twitter take off the gloves. Kim Jung Un battles sex and a new meaning for the term, dead letter office

These stories and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.  

Looting and Burning day three

If you’ve been paying attention, it now appears that burning and looting is quickly becoming a new national pastime. Protests and riots spread across the US last night from their epicenter in Minneapolis. In the Twin Cities looting, burning and general mayhem trumped the rule of law, as angry and lawless citizens continued their revenge against the police and their city over the death of George Floyd. The National Guard rolled into Minneapolis Friday morning following a night that saw more buildings, businesses and a police station in flames and curiously the arrest of a CNN broadcaster. Meanwhile, according to NBC host Craig Melvin, NBC has banned it’s reporters from using the word ‘riot’ to describe their coverage of the Minneapolis happy fun time party happening on that city’s streets. 

As the soldiers rolled in to protect firefighters Friday morning, the rioters and protesters appeared to mostly call it a day and blended back into the shadows of a city in cinders. Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey, although he might consider changing his name to Jacob Fail after three days of conflagration and anarchy in Minneapolis.

Protests and riots spread

Protests and rioting spread in the US to New York City’s Union Square, Portland, Denver, Louisville and Columbus, Ohio where the unrest targeted the Ohio Statehouse, with rioters  smashing windows and gaining entry to the building before police turned them back. In Louisville, seven protesters were wounded from gunfire. Chances are it’s not going to be a pleasant weekend in America. I’m not sure what all this rioting and looting is supposed to accomplish, it’s never solved anything in the past and arguably has only made many racial issues in the US even more volatile. In the end all the violence and lawlessness may only lead to a political knee jerk to the right for safety and rule of law,  and the reelection of Trump. 

The Trump Twitter showdown continues

Trump Tweeted his reaction to the unrest in the country and the post was first flagged by Twitter and later hidden by the Twitterati for quote, “glorifying violence” and breaking the twatter terms of service. The twort from the Prez drew criticism, come on, he attracts criticism like a fly to shit, for allegedly being insensitive to the situation in Minneapolis and calling for violent action against looters. Yesterday Trump signed an executive order targeting social media, and Twitter in particular for regulation from the government over what The President see’s as censorship of the right on the platform. The real sin here is no one, on the right or left, is really talking about free speech, just more regulation from the government, specifically to section 230 of the so-called communications decency act. That law and section allows online platforms to ‘moderate’ user content and at the same time avoid the liability of being a publisher.  All that being said, let’s face it, this whole ‘social media’ thing was an incredibly stupid and delusional idea in the first place, it’s turned into an endless fountain of vapid  flowing bullshit. 

Waters blames Trump

California Congresswoman Maxine Waters told TMZ on Thursday that she places the blame for the killing of Floyd Geroge in Minneapolis squarely on the shoulders of President Trump. That should garner Waters’ a few more votes in her district.  

Reporter’s revenge

The next time you think it would be fun to jump in front of a reporter’s camera while they’re  doing a live-shot and shouting whatever the hell you want, you might want to think again about your cunning plan. An Illinois man was busted after allegedly grabbing a TV reporter during a live broadcast and yelling “F–k her right in the p—y,”  The New York Post reports that WGN-TV reporter Gaynor Hall was giving a weather update when 20-year-old Eric Farina ran in front of the camera, grabbed hall and uttered the phrase that must be beeped. Farina was charged with battery and disorderly conduct and later released on a twenty five hundred dollar bond.

Kim Jung Un sexy man

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has moved on from his war against the Sea of Japan to a war on sex. According to The Express, the North Korean dictator believes that there is a problem with “immorality” among the country’s teenagers, and is declaring their “impure acts” to be treasonous. Kim is peeved over the alleged behaviour of sex craved teenagers and is blaming “decadent capitalist influences”, including pornography that has been smuggled in over the Chinese border. In the words of Patrick Henry, “If this be treason, make the most of it” 

Dead letter office

Talk about the dead letter office. A woman in Montana is claiming that the remains of her dead husband are lost in the limbo of the postal system. Christine Tyler told KTVQ News that her husband died from coronavirus in a Spanish hospital and now she’s trying to track down her husband’s Donald’s remains which she says appear to be lost in the mail. Maybe Donald is secretly infiltrating the postal system to commit dead letter voter fraud. 

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The Overnight Underground News Podcast, now the headlines: 

More rioting in Minneapolis and protests in LA & Memphis. Troubles for democracy continue in Hong Kong. The Trump Twitter wars begun they have. GE turns out the lights & bears like doughnuts, who knew!

These stories and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.  

Minneapolis burns

The second night of unrest in Minneapolis sure looked like a bonafide riot. Angered over the death of George Floyd at the hands of the Minneapolis PD, protesters turned into rioters and looted a Target, burned down multiple buildings including an auto parts store and a low income housing project. Business owners brandished firearms to protect their stores from looting and at least one shooting death has been reported. According to a reporter from the Star-Tribune, the shooting death allegedly involved a pawn shop owner shooting a looter. So what’s next? Probably the National Guard. The Minneapolis Mayor reportedly has asked Governor Tim Walz to deploy the Guard. The Governor has yet to publicly respond to the request. It’s unfortunate, but some people just want to watch the world burn. 

LA squirms

On the left coast, protesters in solidarity with their brethren in Minneapolis shut down the 101 freeway and smashed windows on a CHP patrol car. One person was injured when he fell from the hood of a patrol car as it sped from the scene after being mobbed by demonstrators. The Protesters later dispersed and it was all over by six thirty, no arrests were made. NBC Los Angeles also reported further protests in downtown LA later in the night. Protests also took place in Memphis, and arrests were reportedly made there. According to Fox News, President Trump has ordered the FBI and Justice Department to investigate the death of Floyd. What a year 2020 is turning out to be. I don’t even want to think about what’s next. 

Hong Kong on the skids

On the other side of the globe, things are not much better. Unrest boiled over in Hong Kong following the Chinese government rubber stamping the new Hong Kong security law. The new law authorizes the commie pinko Chinese government to prevent, quote: “secession, subversion, terrorism and foreign interference” in the formerly semi-autonomous city. The new law pretty much officially ends the  “one country-two systems” rule in the former British colony. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo said Wednesday that Hong Kong is no longer autonomous from China. (captain obvious) So what’s next? Possible sanctions imposed by the US on China and in the end, an erosion of Hong Kong as a financial hub as investors see the city as being a risky place to invest. 

 

The Twitter wars begun they have

 

The Trump Twitter war continues again today. Following the companies “fact checking” of Trumps twats yesterday, the President said he is set to announce an executive order to ‘regulate’ social media platforms. Yea, good luck with that. (Byte-airplane-tell you boot good luck were all counting on you)  The President Tweeted this morning, (What the hell we supposed to do you moron), that today, quote: “will be a Big Day for Social Media and FAIRNESS!” You know if he holds a press conference and starts demanding the government liberate compuserve, we’re all flucked. A leak of Trump’s alleged executive order has shown up on social media, that link is of course, available at overnightunderground.com

Facebook’s Zuckerberg just had to get in on the action too, telling Fox News that private companies shouldn’t be ‘the arbiter of truth’. Seems to me that Fakebook may not want to be the arbiter of truth but it sure looks like they would love to become overlords of their own little de facto internet. 

In other amusing Twatter news, Newsweek is reporting that Twitter’s head of site integrity compared Trump’s senior counselor Kellyanne Conway to the Nazi government’s Minister of Propaganda Joseph Goebbels in a 2017 Tweet. I wonder if the department of site integrity will fact check that one? Twitter head of site integrity, talk about the propaganda pot calling the kettle black. 

Joltin’ Joe Biden ain’t

Here’s our audio sound byte of the day, and it’s a quickie. It comes to us from presumptive democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, mixing up his sports analogies. It’s a swing and a punt for Biden. 

Turn out the lights

After over a hundred years of GE is getting out of the light bulb business. Ars Technica reports that GE is selling off its last consumer-facing business. The Wall Street Journal notes that the deal is valued at about two hundred and fifty million dollars. All this begs the questions: Does General Electric still do or make anything electric? And what about their promise of bringing good things to life? 

The Hot Pocket bank heist

Most people breaking into a bank to steal the money.  Like famed bank robber Willie Sutton once said when asked why he robbed banks, “Because that’s where the money is.” News 10 San Diego reports that a man apparently broke into a Wells Fargo bank Wednesday morning just so he could heat up his Hot Pocket sandwiches. That’s the alleged perp talking with a News 10 reporter as he was led handcuffed from the bank. You know, you just can’t make this shit up. 

Donuts and bears oh my

How did police in Fort Myers, Florida trap a black bear that was roaming the downtown streets of the city? According to the News Press, why with donuts of course. The po po used their trusty supply of Krispy Kreme’s to lure the bear so wildlife biologists could nab the fury perp. Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission Officer Adam Brown. I could go for the low hanging fruit here and point out that it was a black bear, so the cops could have just shot him or choked him out, but I won’t. 

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The Overnight Underground Podcast, now the headlines: 

Death and riots in Minneapolis. Protests and tear gas in Hong Kong. Twitter and Trump are playing a game of twitter chicken.  Prostitutes face coronavirus restrictions. Squirt gun baptisms and getting bit by a black widow won’t give you superpowers. 

These stories and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.  

Minneapolis goes nuts 

The video of a Minneapolis Cop kneeling on the neck of a handcuffed man next to a police car is honestly just too brutal to watch. Especially when you consider the man, gasping and pleading with the police for breath, died following the callous treatment by the cops. The Star Tribune reports that four officers have been fired following the death of 47-year-old George Floyd. Minneapolis mayor Jacob Frey. Twenty four hours following the death of Floyd, on the streets of Minneapolis police and protesters clashed within a mele of bottles, rubber bullets and tear gas. A police precinct and multiple police vehicles were trashed in the rioting. The sound of protesters breaking shit recorded by KMSP TV. The FBI and Minnesota state authorities are reportedly investigating Floyd’s death. 

Hong Kong’s not so quiet riot

Meanwhile on the other side of the planet similar scenes played out on the streets of Hong Kong with clashes between pro-democracy protesters and police. That’s the sound of Hong Kong police breaking shit and shooting pepper guns at protesters. The BBC reports hundreds of people were arrested as Hong Kong citizens took to the streets to demonstrate against a proposed Chinese national security law. Some Hong Kongers compared the scene on the streets of the city to marshal law, with stop and search checkpoints set up in the city and riot police taking a zero tolerance stance. Chief Executive and Beijing mouthpiece Carrie Lam doing her best to assure Hong Kong’s citizens that the Chinese commies are just well meaning really nice guys.  Chinese authorities have said that they will act against foreign interference in Hong Kong and state run media has called US threats of sanctions  a quote, ‘nothingburger.’  Wouldn’t a nothing noodle be more apropos? Speaking of burgers, according to the South China Morning Post, Chinese authorities have shut down a WeChat conspiracy social media account claiming the US was using dead bodies to make hamburgers. The world just gets a little stranger and scarier every single day. 

Trump and Twitter spar

Twitter and the Prez are still going at each other again today. For the first time Twitter added a  ‘Unsubstantiated’ warning to two of President Trump’s Tweets. On Tuesday, Trump twatted that supplying voters with mail-in ballots would be, quote: “substantially fraudulent.” Twitter flagged the posts  awith a warning that Trump was making a quote, “unsubstantiated claim.” Trump’s campaign manager released a statement criticizing Twitter’s policy. And so it goes, this should sell a lot of popcorn.

Prostitutes get Covid restrictions

Well we didn’t see this one coming. In Switzerland sex workers will limit customers to two positions which will allegedly ‘minimise the risk of transmitting coronavirus.’ According to the Daily Mail, the guidelines will only include sex positions which allow for safe distances between faces and the washing of bed sheets between each customer. That sounds like a lot of loads, of laundry. We’ll leave the rest up to your imagination. 

Squirt gun Baptisms are a thing now

Last week we had the story about the priest using a squirt gun to bless parishioners during holy week. This week, a priest in the US  is using a water pistol to baptise an infant. And you know, from the twatted picture, you can tell that Father Flatsky, or whatever the hell his name is, has some range time under his cloak with a pretty good weaver stance. Another priest in Canada has kicked it up a notch, it appears he’s using a super soaker for infant baptism. I’m sure Republican Jesus does indeed approve.

Cosmic donuts

Astronomers have captured images of a donut-shaped ‘cosmic ring of fire’ that existed some eleven billion years ago.  According to the study published in the journal Nature, the ring of fire cosmic donut galaxy formed when two separate galaxies smashed into one another. Think of it like a kind of cosmic copulation or an intergalactic t bone. 

Paging Peter Parker

OK dumbass, having a black widow spider bite you will not give you superpowers. According to Telemundo, three Bolivian brothers were hospitalized after prodding a black widow spider with a stick to get the nasty little bastard to bite them. Of course, they all thought the bite would turn them into Spider-Man, silly boys, we all know that it only works with a radioactive spider. In fact, the black widow bites turned them into crying twits writhing in pain. To make a long story even longer, the trio spent close to a week in the hospital recovering from the spider bites. 

It’s a poopy burger stand

In Clearfield, Pennsyltucky Billy’s Burgerland is taking some sh*t for opening up the restaurant and resuming dine in service. WJAC reports a man threw a bottle of sewage at the restaurant in retaliation for reopening.  According to the owner of Billy’s Burgerland, a man asked one of the waitresses if they were in compliance with the CDC’s guidelines and then threw a mountain dew bottle full of sewage and replied let’s see if you get any customers now. Maybe they could change to Chinese food and start serving poo poo platters. Besides, someone told me the place might be a dump anyway. Hey I’m here all week, try the veal.

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The Overnight Underground Podcast, now the headlines:

Rat armies are invading our cities. Fun, sun and guns at the beach for Memorial Day. The name Karen is now officially a racial slur.  Oh great, now there is coronavirus ache and Larry King inks five million dollar podcast deal.

All this and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.  

Rat armies are here

If the rona’ doesn’t get you, the raging hordes of “roving rat armies” will. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is taking the leap from bacteria and virus oversight to rodent control. As reported last week on The Overnight Underground, with so many humans on lockdown, rats are having a field day, especially in densely packed cities. The CDC is advising American’s to be on the lookout for rodents that are exhibiting unusual or aggressive rodent behavior. Which begs the question, what exactly is unusual behavior for a rat? Bobby Corrigan, an urban rodentologist, told NBC News quote: “So these rats are fighting with one another, now the adults are killing the young in the nest and cannibalizing the pups.” In New Orleans, during the lockdown rodents literally took over Bourbon Street, some even seen carrying giant frozen daiquiris. New Orleans Mayor LaToya Cantrell. No matter what, there’s always one kind of vermin or another perambulating down Bourbon Street

Guns and fun for Memorial day

And what a Memorial Day weekend it was. American’s headed to the beaches for some fun, sun and of course gunfire over the holiday weekend. Myrtle Beach and Daytona Beach both experienced the firearm fun by otherwise mostly law observing citizens.  WESH TV 2 reported that six people were shot and wounded near the boardwalk in Daytona Beach. Near  Myrtle Beach, two people were killed and five others hurt when gunfire erupted at a Memorial weekend party, according to Fox Carolina. And according to Seven News Chicago, there were ten homicides over the weekend and nearly fifty shot. The moron index was bending the needle over the weekend here in the US of A. 

Twitter is apologizing for Trump

Trump has Tweeted in the past about the death of  a woman who died in the office of then GOP Representative Joe Scarborough twenty years ago. The AP is reporting that now the husband of that woman, Lori Kaye Klausutis, is demanding that Twitter delete Trump’s tweets that allegedly suggest Scarborough murdered her. In a letter to Twitter’s commander in twat, Jack Dorsey, the man said the tworts violate Twitter’s community rules and terms of service. In a response, the Twiddling company said that they were, quote: “deeply sorry about the pain these statements, and the attention they are drawing, are causing the family.” The company stopped short of any censorship or statements generally regarding Trump’s Tweets.

Michigan Governor gets a taste of her own medicine

Here’s today’s story regarding glass houses and stone throwers and all that. In the last week or so, the Governor of Michigan and some of the state’s citizens have been at odds over the power of the Governor and the lockdown. Even to the point of some armed Michiganders storming the Capitol building in Lansing. Well now it seems that despite Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer’s push for some of the harshest lock-downs in the US, her family, it seems, feels entitled enough to ignore the rules. Whitmer did recently ease some lockdown restrictions for Memorial Day weekend. She said in a news conference, quote: “if you don’t live in these regions … think long and hard before you take a trip into them. Don’t descend on Traverse City from all regions of the state.” Well, Three days later, according to the Detroit News, a marina owner in the Traverse City area posted on Facebook that the governor’s husband, Marc Mallory, had asked the marina to get their boat in the water before Memorial Day. Now the Governor appears to be all wet. 

Woman calls 911 because she sees a black man in the park

Let’s see what else we have in the outrage column for today. Have you heard about the story of the white woman walking her dog without a leash in Central Park when a black man asks her to put the dog on a leash. The woman then goes apoplectic and calls 911. The woman has since issued an apology, had her dog taken from her by animal rescue and placed on leave from her job. Amy Cooper, the dog walking woman in question, told CNN that her life is being destroyed over the video of the incident.  Job well done all the way around. You know, that’s the kind of schadenfreude we need, to see some woman’s life destroyed always makes you feel better about your own life.  The whole thing is just such a non-story, but it’s getting national attention, because someone is outraged and we demand someone suffer for it. People, mind your own damn business and just treat each other like human beings, or better yet, like a good dog. 

Coronavirus acne

There is a new malady striking mask wearers, and it’s name is ‘maskne.’ According to Fox News, maskne is acne that forms under the areas of your face that are covered by a mask. It seems, when you wear a mask, you are essentially sealing in your breath. This creates a moist, humid environment leading to irritation, rashes and acne. It’s kind of like a diaper rash for your face. By tomorrow latest, I want to see everyone applying butt paste to their faces stat. 

Covid-19 blackouts could hit cities

The next coronavirus related horse shit we might have to deal with this summer? Why rolling blackouts of course. According to The Daily Beast, yea I know, it’s the Daily Beast. Now that so many people are working from home, air conditioning use may spike during the summer causing strains on the nation’s grids from sea to shining sea. Just shove a snow cone down your shorts. 

Face mask bikinis are now a thing

A performance artist in LA decided standing out front of a Trader Joe’s wearing a bikini made entirely of face masks was the perfect way to protest the coronavirus lockdown. The Free Press Journal has the eye bleach primed photos if you just have to see them. The face mask wearing ding dong wrote in a Fakebook post that she believes coronavirus is a hoax created to erode freedoms, forcing people to wear masks in public and some other wackadoodle notions. And like with everyone else these days there is outrage over her stunt, with people responding to her Fakebook post of the event over her misuse of personal protective equipment and others calling her a “Karen.” Honestly, when did calling a white woman a “Karen” become an acceptable racial slur? Where’s the outrage over that?

Panty face masks are now a thing. 

Maybe “Karen” should have sent a woman in Ukraine an extra face mask or two. The Daily Star reports that a woman in Kiev, when told she would not be waited on at a business unless she was wearing a face mask, proceed to drop her pants, whipped off her undies and put said panties over her punim and of course then proceeded to use them as a face mask. Talk about getting your knickers in a twist. 

Larry King still alive

You know Joe Rogan I can understand getting a multi-million dollar contract, but Larry King?! It seems Larry King just inked a five million dollar podcast deal. I’ll bet most people thought he was already dead and anyone under forty, their response would undoubtedly be “Larry who.” According to Variety, The hour-long podcast will feature guests from pop culture, sports, music and comedy. The guy must have pictures of someone or something. Five million bucks? Sources say the name of the new podcast is, The Millionth Question. There is no truth to the rumor that “The Ninth Divorce” was also in the running. 

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