The Overnight Underground News Podcast, here’s today’s headlines: 

A confederacy in Seattle. Statues fall everywhere. If you’re bald don’t get covid. Hot pants are back. NASCAR bans it’s unofficial symbol and you computer may be a slave owner. 

These stories and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.  

Seattle goes full retard

Not sure if you’ve been keeping up on the continuing saga of protesters and their confederacy happening in Seattle. But here’s a brief rundown. A group of protesters have taken over a six block area in downtown Seattle and christened it the “Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone.” Included in this area is a police station, which the Seattle police have abandoned and surrendered to the protesters. The new leaders of the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone have renamed the police precinct the “Seattle People Department.” Although the protesters say it’s all about peace and love, there have been alleged instances of violence, profiling and shakedowns of business in the new Zone. The Police and city government have decided not to react to the rebellion and the Governor said during a news conference that he didn’t even know the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone even existed. Wait, you’ve got a group setting up an autonomous government in your states largest city, and you don’t even know about it. Trump has called for the Mayor and Governor to act and they have tweeted back that they think the President is a nincompoop or something. Trump has threatened to send in his own goon squad to liberate the area from the current goon squad and take back the city. Now comes news that in Portland, a group there is attempting to set up their own Autonomous Zone. Come on, it’s not anarchy, they’re just setting up a new HOA.  The whole thing is a total shit show. 

Seattle ‘autonomous zone’ has armed guards, local businesses being threatened with extortion, police say

Seattle police say they have received reports of armed guards and potential extortion in a self-declared autonomous zone that spans several blocks and includes a now-closed precinct. “We’ve heard, anecdotally, reports of citizens and businesses being asked to pay a fee to operate within this area. This is the crime of extortion.

Statues next on the cancel culture chopping block

The cancel culture has turned up the cancel to eleven. Statues are coming down in the US and England faster than you can say critical race theory. A statue of Confederate President Jefferson Davis was ripped from it’s plinth in Richmond and  statues of Columbus in Boston, Miami and Virginia have been vandalised.  In England, they’re even after a statue of the head of the Boyscouts. In Portsmouth, Virginia, a statue of Confederate President Jefferson Davis seriously injured a protester as it fell and whacked said protester squarely on the noggin. The pronoun is reportedly in critical condition. In England a statue of Queen Victoria was sexualized and defaced with black lives matter graffiti. I’ve got an idea, let’s tear all the statues down, everywhere and replace every single one of them with statues of our lord and savior George Floyd. Mount Rushmore, George Floyd. Lincoln Memorial, George Floyd. Will that make you happy?  Didn’t think so. 

Statue of Queen Victoria defaced with ‘Black Lives Matter’ and ‘slave owner’ graffiti

A memorial to Queen Victoria in Leeds has been defaced with the words “racist” and “slave owner” following a wave of Black Lives Matter protests. The monument, situated at Woodhouse Moor in the Hyde Park area of the city, has also been spray-painted with the words “educate”, “colonise”, “justice” and “Black Lives Matter”.

Leave it to cleaver

You ever notice that every couple of days there’s some Chinese human that ends up with something lodged in some other uncompromising or unfortunate body part. The Daily Mail reports, complete with footage available to watch at the overnight underground website, of a man in the Hubei province walking into a hospital with a meat cleaver squarely implanted in his skull. According to the article the mishap took place after a heated argument. Probably over MSG. 

Man walks into a hospital with a CLEAVER stuck in his head

The Chinese man is pictured dripping in blood with the blade lodged in his skull Footage shows the patient hacked by the cleaver lying on a hospital bed in Hubei Doctor said the man is recovering after undergoing surgery to remove the knife The resident is said to have been attacked after getting into a fight with someone A Chinese man has been rushed to hospital after he was hacked on his head with a meat cleaver during a heated row, according to reports.

Bald men suffer more, from coronavirus

Well here’s the latest piece of science you can probably ignore. According to Professor Carlos Wambier of Brown University, bald men may suffer more from coronavirus. The New York Post reports that the follically challenged may have a much higher vulnerability to the disease. In one study, almost eighty percent of coronavirus patients in three Madrid hospitals were bald. I wonder how they explain all the women dead from the disease. Maybe it’s time to buy stock in Rogaine, Trump will undoubtedly start touting it as a cure any minute now. 

Hot pants make comeback

Well here’s some good news No really! Hot pants are back in fashion. Yahoo is reporting that those butt huggin’ short shorts are back and just in time for the steamy summer weather. Because in today’s political climate, nothing says liberation quite like the objectification of women. 

Other cancelations

Just in case you were wondering, Coachella and the StageCoach 2020 festivals have been officially canceled.

Sound byte of the day

Here’s my favorite sound-byte of the day, it’s a protest in a Seattle municipal building. Someone got told. 

HEY HEY HEY.! This is Library..! “Thug Life”

The coolest man of the 2017.. Thanks for your complaints guys.. the video will be removed; http://imgur.com/a/nGis4 and dear youtube staff you will not be ab…

NASCAR surrenders the flag

NASCAR has banned the flying of the Confederate flag at its races. Makes you wonder, what are the rednecks going to wear? They all gonna’ go naked? There is no truth to the rumor that the hammer and sickle sigil are the new official colors for NASCAR. After all, the drivers have only been turning left for decades now. On next year’s NASCAR schedule, the Compton 500. 

Your computer is racist

I’ll bet you didn’t see this one coming. In light of the current politically correct climate, CNet is reporting a growing movement to update terms used with hard drives, camera flashes and databases. There is a growing howl from the woke circles in tech to erase the terms “master” and “slave.” The terms are used to describe the relationships between two computer hard drives and other hardware relationships, such as camera flashes. Come on, just admit it, it really is getting ridiculous isn’t it. 

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The Overnight Underground News Podcast, here’s today’s headlines: 

The cancel culture just keeps rollin’ along. Disney and Paramount targeted are with the cancelation bullseye. Boris Johnson brings back sex to the Brits. New York offers coronavirus sex advice and the Republicans are moving to Florida, well, not all of them. 

These stories and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.  

The Cancel Culture update

Well we’re still keeping tabs on everything the social justice pharisees have banned or canceled in the last 24 hours. Let’s see, HBO Max has ‘temporarily’ removed the movie “Gone with the Wind” from their streaming service. I guess HBO believes the film adaptation of Margaret Mitchell’s book is just too vile for us uneducated pleb’s to view. The network said that it will reinstate the classic film with an updated statement on racial depictions within the film. That should be ok. They believe long as I watch it with the proper explanation from a corporation that gives me a dispensation to view it with their objective viewpoint of right-think, it will all be good. Frankly HBO. 

Cops gets canceled

Let’s see, what else, the show Cops has been canceled. Paramount has canceled the show after over three decades of cop chases, meth busts and toothless hooker arrests. A spokesman, wait, can we say ‘man’ is that still allowed? Anyway a spokespronoun said, quote: “Cops is not on the Paramount Network and we don’t have any current or future plans for it to return.” Viewers of the show also issued a statement, “now that Cops is not on the Paramount Network, we don’t have any current or future plans for us to return to the network.” 

The show “Live PD” also looks like it may soon get the axe.  However the host of the show, Dan Abrams, Tweeted, the show will return, despite an uproar over their filming and subsequent erasure of a black man’s death during a 2019 Texas police stop. Of course resumption of Live PD assumes that the US will have any remaining police departments for the camera crews to follow around after the current mass hysteria for defunding and abolishment of the popo. 

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Disney cancelations in progress

Oh and there are calls to have Disney shut down Splash Mountain. The kerfuffle is due to the ride being themed to the now anathema Disney movie “Song of the South.” Advocates have set up a petition to force the mouse house to change the attraction. I know, how about Space Splash Mountain, Where Imperial Stormtroopers force you take a tTurkish steam bath at gunpoint with Jabba the Hut, just  to prove your not racist or something. 

Boris brings back sex

Today British Prime Minister Boris Johnson introduced and new term for sex, the “support bubble.”  I wonder if this means porn hub premium isn’t free anymore? I think this move by the Brit’s is primarily for those who can’t keep their c@ck down during lockdown. Who knows, maybe for those over fifty,  “support bubble” is slang for erectile dysfunction drugs. 

Sex in NY

Meanwhile across the pond in New York CIty, city health officials have delivered updated guidance for sex in the big apple, and other places too. The advisory advises to, quote:  “Be creative with sexual positions and physical barriers, like walls, that allow sexual contact while preventing close face to face contact.”  So are they saying glory holes are OK?  If social distancing isn’t your thing, the advisory recommends “well-ventilated spaces” for group sex. And who doesn’t. And don’t forget to bring along alcohol-based hand sanitizer. Yea’ gotta’ keep those hands clean, you don’t know where they’ve been. 

Washington drones

According to U.S. Customs and Border Protection commissioner Mark Morgan, the drones used during the Washington protests slash riots were not used to spy on protesters. Morgan told ABC News that, quote: “We were not providing any resources to surveil lawful peaceful protesters. That’s not what we were doing,” That’s totally believable. Maybe they were being used to tag speeders. 

Republican convention to move to Florida

Rumor has it today that the Republicans will move their convention to Jacksonville. According to multiple sources including US News and World Report, the RNC is planning a two-part convention which will take place in two separate locations with the big shindigs taking place in Jacksonville. Even though Jacksonville has plenty of hotels and venues for the convention, the RNC may have a hell of a time finding anything big enough to house Trump’s massive ego. Jacksonville huh, That reminds me of the old joke: What has 8 legs and three teeth? The night shift at the Jacksonville Waffle House.

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It’s time for the Overnight Underground News Podcast.  I’m John Ford.  

George Floyd fest

Ah, it’s kind of a boring news day today, but that could all change in a flash. On Monday there was a viewing of the body of our lord and savior George Floyd and of course today is the wall to wall coverage of the George Floyd funeral. Democrats staged one of those take a knee moments for eight minutes and 46 seconds in DC on Monday. Nancy Pelosi had a hard time getting back up as her knees gave out. Probably not the first time for that. The Democrats pushed their Justice in Policing Act and Republicans said no, police are friends not food. The whole damn thing feels just like an endless and perpetually annoying kabuki theatre. Just turn it off already and step away from the TV and Twitter if you know what’s good for you. 

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Army may rename bases

The Army has announced they are ready to surrender to cancel culture and the politics of victimhood. Army brass yesterday said they are considering changing names of forts and bases that are named after Confederate generals. Among those bases that are being considered for name change are Fort Bragg in North Carolina, Fort Benning in Georgia and Fort Hood in Texas. That one could just become Fort Boys in the Hood. That would work. There is no truth to the rumors that some of the names being considered as replacements for the racist, offensive, objectionable and mean fort names are:  Fort Looser, Fort Surrender, Fort Politically Correct, Fort Pu**y, Fort White Flag, Fort PornHub, Fort McFortyface, Fort Gomer, Fort Social Justice Warrior, Fort Honorable Elijah Muhammad, Fort Duchebag and of course Fort A**hole. 

Cancel culture of the day report

Here’s some more cancel culture news. Adam Rapoport, The Editor in Chief over at Bon Appétit has stepped down. No it wasn’t because he ordered fried chicken. It seems an old Instagram post with Rapoport in brownface surfaced on Monday, and of course, that calls for erasing him from existence. The Wrap reports that Rapoport said he is, quote: “stepping down as editor in chief of Bon Appétit to reflect on the work that I need to do as a human being.” As opposed to work he did in the past as what? A gerbil, fish, a wallaby?  It seems it’s just too much for anyone to take after the picture of Rapoport surfaced from a Halloween costume he wore 16 years ago. Honestly, I’ve seen the picture and he just looks like your typical douche  bag Yankees fan. But here’s something I always wondered. Why is it not acceptable to dress in black or brown face, but it’s perfectly acceptable for men to dress as women in drag wearing the most ridiculous makeup and clothes that many would say are demeaning women. HI mean, there’s even top rated TV shows dedicated to this misogyny. Makes no sense to me. But then none of this cancel culture, social justice, neo-marxist postmodernism does. 

Instagram Photo Shows Bon Appétit’s Adam Rapoport in Brownface

An old Instagram photo of Bon Appétit’s editor in chief, Adam Rapoport, wearing brownface circulated on social media on Monday, leading at least one of the magazine’s food editors to publicly call for his resignation. The photo, which has since been hidden behind a private account, was posted as a “throwback” photo in 2013.

No more streaming Little Britain for you

Oh hell, let’s just cancel TV shows while we’re at it. The Guardian reports the TV show Little Britain has been axed from all UK streaming platforms.  The erasure is due to concerns about the use of blackface by its two stars, David Walliams and Matt Lucas. The BBC Ministry of Truth said, quote: “Times have changed since Little Britain first aired, so it is not currently available on BritBox.” I say it’s time to target All in the Family next. Archie Bunker must be canceled. 

North Korea throws a hissy fit

North Korea is back in the news. According to multiple reports, North Korea has cut all communication channels with their neighbors in the South. This latest move from the North comes as it escalates pressure on South Korea for failing to stop activists from floating anti-Pyongyang leaflets, money and thumb drives with movies and music across the border. According to the Guardian, North Korea said it will make Soul suffer for its actions. Isn’t having to live next to North Korea suffering enough. 

I’d report on more, but honestly, I’ve just had enough for today. I need to keep a little bit of my sanity.

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The Overnight Underground News Podcast, here’s today’s headlines: 

Refund the police, oh wait, that’s defund the police. In New York the murder rate is on the rise. The cancel culture racks up at least three over the weekend. Your Sims may have STD’s and no donut discounts for the po po in Rhode Island. 

These stories and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.  

Bad cop no money

The city of Minneapolis has come up with a novel way to deal with rioting, looting and what now seems like perpetual protesting, they’re going to disband the police department. Come to think about it, what better way to lower crime rates than to dismantle and defund the police. No police, no reported crime. Minneapolis Council President Lisa Bender told CNN  Wait, that’s the wrong Bender. That’s Minneapolis Council President Lisa Bender, saying the same thing twice. I wonder how many times she rehearsed that? So what do they do next without a police department? According to Bender, the city will move police funding toward community-based strategies and the city council will hold discussions on how to replace the current police department. Wait, she’s admitting they’re scrapping the police department and they don’t know what they’re actually going to replace it with? Hey, there’s been a homicide, quick, send in the social workers. I wonder how Walmart and Target will feel about rebuilding their stores in Minneapolis, with them being guarded by the city council and social workers?

Murder rates rise in New York

Meanwhile in New York City with the protests and looting of the last week, shootings and murders rose dramatically in the big apple. The New York Post reports that compared to the same period last year murders nearly tripled  From Sunday to Monday there were thirteen murders in New York city and forty shootings. At least one shooting in the city was allegedly attributable to looting when one alleged looter was shot by another alleged looter, allegedly in SoHo during the alleged rioting and looting in New Looterville, allegedly formerly known as New York. Allegedly. 

New York Times cancels editor

The cancel culture has been working overtime in the media over the weekend. At the New York Times the Editorial Page Editor, James Bennet, resigned following the paper publishing an op-ed from Republican Senator Tom Cotton. According to The Hill, the newspaper’s announcement of the resignation did not mention the controversy over the Cotton op-ed. The Times must think we’re all idiots not admitting that the two aren’t related. 

Philadelphia Inquirer cancels editor

The top editor of The Philadelphia Inquirer also resigned over the weekend. Stan Wischnowski fell on his sword following the printing of an article with the headline “Buildings Matter, Too.” Maybe they should have titled it “Black Buildings Matter, Too”.The paper printed an apology and said they were sorry because some found the article offensive. I agree, it’s time to put an end to printing anything that might possibly offend someone, it’s just criminal. I’d say they should be arrested, but once we abolish the police, who’s going to arrest them? I know, send in the social workers. 

Variety cancels editor

Meanwhile, over at Variety,  Editor in Chief Claudia Eller has been placed on administrative leave. This comes after a heated exchange on Twitter, wait is there any other kind, over the lack of newsroom diversity. I’d give you the gory details, but let’s just say someone is offended and angry over something and blah, blah, blah ad infinitum ad nauseam. 

JK Rowling called on carpet over belief in biological sex

JK Rowling is next on the cancel culture weekend list. It seems the  Harry Potter author has stopped her tiptoeing around the mirky pseudo-scientific world of biological sex. Rowling Tweeted over the weekend, among other things, that ” If sex isn’t real, the lived reality of women globally is erased.” Needless to say the Trans community, was, wait for it, offended. Yea, the twitter outrage squad have called the tweets “anti-trans” and “transphobic.” I know, let’s force her to get a hysterectomy and buy her a pair of truck nuts and start calling her Joe, that will teach that f**king TERF. My question is, if biological sex isn’t real, why do people feel the need to transition from one unreality to another? 

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Sims catch STD’s

Your Sim’s may have the clap. A new update to Sims 4 has apparently given urinating sims flaming pee. The gaming website RPS notes the latest update does indeed give Sims depending on how you look at it, either a new superpower or an STD, fire piss. It seems that it doesn’t matter if you stand up or sit down to do your duty, the fire is still there. That’s what she said. Some redditors have noted that the fire pee seems to happen if the bathroom and hence the toilet is above the kitchen. Maybe it’s a gas leak or something. Either way, shit, or in this case, piss, does indeed roll down hill.  

Chinese man’s butt is fishy

In China, a man recently had to have a fish removed from his rectum. The Daily Mail reports a 30-year-old man had doctors remove a whole fish from his rectum after he said he sat on it by accident. The doctors made the fishy discovery after the man was admitted to the hospital for severe abdominal pain. I wonder if it was billy bass? Then he’d really be talking out his ass. 

Cops to pay full price for diabetes

In Rhode Island it really is bad cop no donut time. Allie’s Donuts, in North Kingstown, Rhode Island, recently announced via Instagram that they will no longer be offering discounts to police officers or members of the military. Why? Because of recent accusations of racism and injustice against the local police department of course. It goes without saying that people are outraged and hurt all the way around. Me, I have a dream that one day that it will become self-evident that all of God’s donuts are created equally delicious. Until then, no crullers, no peace, no discount for the police. 

Assault by burger

Wait, this might be a new one, assault by hamburger. TSG reports that a Florida woman assaulted her beau with a burger that started with an argument over an open window in the couples trailer. Wow, there is so much wrong with that sentence I just wouldn’t know where to begin. Anyway, according to the report, 47-year-old Tanya Cordero denies the assault by burger, but the cops say there were still hamburger remnants in the alleged assaulted man’s  ear when the cops arrived. Cordero was charged with domestic battery and later released from jail on her own recognizance. It’s not the first time Cordero has been in trouble with the cops for assaulting her partner, in January, she was convicted of battering her boyfriend over their children’s Halloween costumes and served three months in jail.

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The Overnight Underground News Podcast, here’s today’s headlines: 

There’s good employment news today. White folk get bigger job gains but blacks and hispanics, well not so much and a tale of two mayors.  

Today on the Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.  

Good news for Jobs

Hey, here’s some. No really, it actually is good news. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics the US unemployment rate has actually fallen. The index fell to  thirteen point three percent, and the economy actually gained two and a half million jobs despite the damn plague. Needless to say, Wall Street latched on to the jobs report and was up around   seven hundred points at market open. The good economic news comes during the phased reopening of businesses across the country.  

Dentists lead the way

The Week reports that ten percent of the employment gains were due to dentists. Just under a quarter of a million of the job gains came from dentists’ offices, as dental patients were less down in the mouth about the safety of returning to the dentist. There is also further proof now that reports are inherently racist. Bloomberg notes that while white employment rose, that wasn’t the case for black folk. The unemployment rate for black American’s rose to sixteen point eight percent. Latino’s fared the worst, with just over seventeen and a half percent unemployed.

Cleveland gets a new city motto

In the past Cleveland has had one or two regrettable monikers. There’s the “Mistake by the lake” and of course the unofficial motto of Cleveland, “Hey, at least we’re not Detroit.” Thanks to the mayor of Cleveland, they now have a new one. Well bless his heart. Yep, that’s Cleveland mayor Frank Jackson from an interview on The Appeal. Let me tell you, I spent a month in Cleveland one weekend, and outside of the burning river, it wasn’t that bad. 

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Simi Valley mayor is full of sh*t

Simi Valley don’t take no shit. On Monday, Simi Valley Mayor Pro Tem Mike Judge posted a meme on Facebook, which read, “Wanna stop the riots? Mobilize the septic tank trucks, put a pressure cannon on ’em, and hose ’em down.” Today, many are calling for him to resign. Judge, a near 30-year veteran with the LAPD,  said the meme was a joke. Well, joke or not, it’s 2020 and if you haven’t gotten the memo, the world is officially a no joke zone. A lot of people were offended, and that is the new unforgivable sin, so the Mayor must be canceled. Well, at least he didn’t call the city the There is that.

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